January’s Question
05. Jan, 2009 
8 Comments
Well here it is, the beginning of another new year. I hope your holidays went well and safely. Since it’s the beginning of a new year then it must be the first of a new month. Usually at the start of a new month I’ve posted a list or asked a question. This month it’s a question.
Bikers are known for being innovative and resourceful when we have to be. Sometimes our resourcefulness isn’t the best idea in the world and leaves others shaking their heads in disbelief. After we think about it we agree and say “Boy was I dumb for doing that”. That’s what we want to know, looking back what’s the dumbest thing you’ve done while riding your bike?
Here’s mine. I left a bar at about 3 AM one morning and fired my bike up. I climbed aboard and turned the headlight on and the engine died. The engine would run as long as I didn’t turn the lights on, I figured the bike had a dead short somewhere. Without tools I couldn’t work on the bike there so I went back into the bar and asked to borrow a flashlight that I could tape onto the bike so I could get it home. The only kind of light the bartender had was one of those little key chain lights that you squeezed to make it work. I took it.
With that little light, a cloudless night with a full moon and lots of luck I made it home. Amazingly I ran into little traffic and no cops during the 22 mile trip that took me through four towns with traffic lights. When a car coming at me I’d chomp down on the light, which I had clenched in my teeth, so the driver would see that there was something in the other lane. I bet I startled a couple drivers and some deer that night when I roared by.
Among the many dumb things over the years that was probably at the top of the list. At one time or another we’ve all shown that we’re not always the brightest bulbs in the package. Tell us your stories.
Well Sam, since you asked (and there’s no way to prove it was me), I’ll tell you my dumbest stunt.
Several years ago I decided to take the Mototcycle Safety Course. I would suggest everyone take this course (if you haven’t done so already). Even the most experience rider will learn a thing or two.
Back to my story. I took the course, and after the book work we went out into the huge parking lot for actual riding on some little Honda 50′s.
Well, these are just toys, right? Nothing serious to worry about. Well, I decided to hotdog a bit, and do some really quick turns, and show off a bit.
Dumb mistake! The first “trick” turn landed me on the ground so fast it took a minute or two to remember where I was.
Now, the real shame wasn’t the nice denim shirt I ruined, or the bloody elbow and knee. No, the worst part of the experience was when the instructor came over and asked me if I’d like to do it again, as some of the class missed my first show!
Snake,
While I’m sure that I have done very many dumb things whlle on a bike, I just can’t bring very many to mind. (of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most)
But one dumb thing that I did was in the installaion of an aftermarket exhuast on my Kawasaki.
On installing the mounting bracket to the rear of the bike, I put the bracket on the swingarm. Not even thinking for a moment that the swingarm moves with the suspension.
I don’t have to tell you that by the time I got to work, (about 30 miles) my muffler was ready to let go. Stepping back to look at it, I remembered asking myself, “…….man, why would I do such a stupid thing like that?”
Nuff said,
ride easy,
Trib.
Well Guys,
I think I have the Dumbest Story ever!
Late one night at the bar down the street only 1 mile away I decided to drive my bike home. Even after falling down twice in the parking lot just starting it up I continued on my path.
Three fourths on the way home I see the red cherries behind me and duck inside an apartment complex maze to lose him. This complex was my next door neighbor so I put my bike behind a large trash dumpster to hide and would retrieve it the next morning.
I jumped the fence and went home, safe and secure until I woke the next day to look out my front window to find my motorcycle was missing! (I did not remember the night before)
I called the police and reported it and filed the report.
I lived there for quite sometime thereafter and learned a valuable lesson about drinking and driving, never do it again. So I would walk home from the bar thereafter but one night walking home I seen the red cherries again so I ran in the same apartment complex again to duck and doge the law.
To my surprise behind the same dumpster was a rusted motorcycle that fit my key and I remembered!
Sad, Dumb and True!
Don’t Drink and Drive.
Well, it wasn’t my bike (hmmm, maybe that was part of the problem…) but a friend was riding a new (to him) lightweight rice burner in my neighborhood, trying to get accustomed to it before he took it out on more serious roads. Within minutes, he’d run the bike off the road into the brambles and staggered out with bloody scrapes all over his arms and face, leaving the bike lying on its side. As another neighbor took him to her house to tend to the lacerations I volunteered to rescue the bike from the briars.
I gingerly worked my way into the thorny brush, picked up the bike, and started it up, intending to “ride it out.” Within seconds of twisting the throttle I was mowing further into the brambles. There was no response from the brakes and the engine continued to rev though I’d released the throttle. I finally dumped the bike and shakily trudged to my neighbor’s house to have my own wounds tended. After I’d explained what happened, the bike’s owner said, “Oh, I forgot to tell you, the throttle sticks…”
Not me and not really what you asked for, but a funny story.
“Many years ago I was riding down to the beach in Wildwood, NJ. I’m solo, a friend on another bike, and my then-girlfriend following on her EX500. There were a couple of bikini-clad hotties standing on the median talking as we approached. Knowing my gf was behind me, I reached out my left hand as if to pat one of the bikini girls on the butt, fully expecting a foot or two of air between my hand and her cheek. Ha ha, no biggie.
Just as I was passing her, my palm fully extended, bikini girl moves quickly – and I full-on smack her ass at about 30mph. Next light I pull up, shaking my stinging left hand vigorously, laughing like a fiend. My friend pulls up next to me also howling with laughter.
My then-gf pulls up next.
She is NOT laughing.”
Mark, I had to change my depends on that story.
That made my day.
When I have time to think of my dumbest story, I’ll post it here.
Mark,
I agreee with RoadRat. Your story (so far) takes the cake.
Trib
Mark
That’s some serious dumb.
I know that I can match it.
But I have trouble recalling such repressed stories.
It may take me a long time to be reminded of a like story of my own.